Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

January 12, 2014

A Scrambled State of being

Filed under: Writing out the Mind: 2010-July 2, 2012 — Tags: , , , — Thomas La Grua @ 2:14 pm

At first I thought that there was a secret code within/as the symbols of the sounds of words. However, what I am now beginning to realize is that, there is no ‘secret’ code, no-one has pulled the veil over my eyes. I’ve just scrambled my expression within and as myself to such and extent that I’ve literally lost myself in that which I’ve created as me.

Who is one as an expression whose words and deeds are able to be interpreted in countless (different) ways?  When I look at this question from one perspective – the one that I’ve defined as the point of certainty – there is understanding within and as me. However, when I move to express this stand in words and deeds in relation to others/all, I see that parts of me are still confused, not soundly aligned in unison to/with/as all. I experience this disharmony/confusion in different forms of different definitions of fear and/or pain.

I do not accept that there is nothing that I am able to do to remove this experience of fear and pain. In fact I am certain – from that point that I define as certainty/understanding, that I am able to move/direct me to see and understand everything by aligning my self-expression, standing, understanding to Here, equal and one with all that is here. To this end I walk one journey of investigation, introspection and experimentation with me, myself and I as words.

Why words? In and as the words I begin to see the points wherein my lines are not standing absolutely as one definition that is applicable to and best for all; I begin to see my expression, where my relationships are out of alignment and have gone astray to become question marks, possibilities/uncertainties, causes of consequence, experiences of pain and/or fear.

In short, I would say that to understand what is here, how we’ve created ourselves into and as quantum questions marks, and how to write and rewrite ourselves to mend the whole – each one to absolute definitions of integrity of Here as expressions of who each one is in relation to all/one – is the process of unscrambling ourselves by writing, rewriting/redesigning our symbols/words, mending us, our versus to living words, sound expressions of life of oneness and equality. As perhaps was in the beginning, the word, so too shall we create a new sound beginning, the sound of unison, the sound of one.

Originally, I had titled this, “Here and There” because I’ve been working on understanding Here and There from a perspective/question of “what is the truth that the words as symbols of sound are showing us?” Having written lines down many branches in attempts to understand and explain this, I confess, I’m still circling round and round, perhaps lessening the sin as the circle gets smaller, but still not to the point of absolution so to speak, lol. So, I’ll keep at until it’s done, I’m done, all one.


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