Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

February 4, 2014

Care

Filed under: DIP — Tags: , , , , — Thomas La Grua @ 11:41 am

Recently I wrote something to the effect that, I would care for all that cared for all, “I will care for the machine, the physical or the energy that care for others, that care enough to stop the sacrifice.” I now realize that within this statement, I was judging some to be worthy of being cared for while others not. I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to judge others as not caring and thus not being worthy of being cared for. I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in judging others as not caring and thus not being worthy of being cared for, I was judging myself for not caring, and judging myself as not being worthy of being cared for. I now see, realize and understand that caring for others begins with caring for me, all of me.

It’s cool these days the immediacy within which one is able to test self to see if our words are aligned to our deeds, basically gifting ourselves opportunities to understand points, where and how we stand and/or still lie. Last week, I had planned to go to the hot springs in central Taiwan, camping with others. Then, the day before we were scheduled to leave, my dog friend suddenly began limping as though she was barely able to walk. I realized that she probably required to be cared for at home, and that perhaps she was even faking it to an extent so that I wouldn’t leave here behind. I made the decision to stay home and care for her; not because felt caring, but because I have committed myself to the point of caring.

In other words, what I am beginning to realize about care and caring for another/others is that I don’t require to experience a feeling of caring to move/apply me to care for another, others or me. Care, in practical application I would say is a verb of doing, not an adjective of feeling. This is a cool realization for me because I have often wondered and even searched within me for that feeling of “care,” going so far as attempting to create it. When my father died, I did once cry, but that was of a decision I had made because I thought it was what I should do, what normal people did.

Yea, so although I have on occasion created the emotional/energetic experience of caring for/about others, I didn’t really find it within and as the nature of me. However, since I have been addressing this point of care from various dimensions, and I now realize that I do not require to feel an energetic experience of care “to care”. I see that I am able to live care as an application/commitment of doing, thus  perhaps changing the nature of me to one that cares.

In looking back at how I’ve been moving me over the last several years, I see that this is what I have been doing, changing me, step by step. I commit myself to caring for me as I would have all care for me, and from here, expanding me to care for all as me. I guess applying care begins in the small of every day in how we relate to each other, all. This point, I will hold onto and apply until caring becomes part of the natural expression of me. For more on “Care”, see the following link/links. https://eqafe.com/series/3-reptilians?page=9

Desteni

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