Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

August 16, 2013

The Harboring of an Energetic Personality system

I now realize to an extent why we as beings of and as existence have for all-time been spiraling towards non-existence – as beings. It’s because the principle of equality and oneness (as a state/statement of existence) had never before been realized or understood by beings; thus oneness and equality aligned in the principle of what is best for all, as also being best for self, had never before been considered. That one point that brought forth this point of equality and oneness within and as the principle of what is best for all was the point of a man standing as a physical example. Now, it’s a matter of all of us, one by one and together changing ourselves to realize/live oneness and equality within and as the principle of what is best for all.

The Desteni process is the process of every man, woman and child to, in and as the principle of what is best for all, equalize our beingnesses within and as our physical human bodies; why our physical human bodies, because the human physical body is already standing one and equal with all that is physically here/substance/life; however, our beingnesses within and as our mind-consciousness systems in/as our human bodies are not aligned to this oneness and equality within and as what is best for all; therefore, in aligning/merging within and as the oneness and equality of our physical human bodies, we begin to see, realize and understand that, within and as which we’re standing, the dirt of Earth, the physical/substance/Life; thus realizing our responsibility/opportunity to and as Life.

Whereas our current downward-spiral, the creation of consequence through and as the perception of separation as energy/mind consciousness-system-controlled hu-man beings is the reverse of living – an inverted-process of devolution leading to an eventual implosion; the reverse of this reverse, as in the standing of oneness and equality within and as the principle of what is best for all would perhaps be evolution.

On to another topic, the harboring of an energetic personality system. The other day while I was chatting with someone, an interesting point emerged from within me, which I immediately recognized as one of my personality systems, the one I call weaponized/militarized. This personality is nothing new to me; I’ve written about it often, and have – as part of my process, directed myself for the most part to not allow myself to be directed by this system. The key phrase is “for the most part”; meaning that this system still lurks in the background, and has over the last 2-3 years occasionally built up enough energy to activate. The main reason that it’s still lurking within and as me is because in the past I believed that I might require this system for survival. What’s interesting is that, I really don’t see it that way anymore; I see this personality as attempting to justify it’s existence as an energetic (reactive) entity as though I require a personality entity to react for me. I have no need for reactive energetic entities within and as me directing me to react based on interpretations of (past) memories applied to the present. I used to actually fear this personality; now I’d say it’s more of an inconvenience in that there have been points that I’ve avoided addressing simply because I was afraid of letting this personality lose for all to see one of the lies I’ve harbored.

 

Here’s what happened; over the last few weeks, I’ve been looking at and writing on the issue of Internet secrecy/anonymity and how it facilitates Internet abuse – trolls, pedophiles, anonymous, terrorism, abusive governments, the NSA and so on. What I’ve noticed is that this personality within and as me/my mind-consciousness system would come up every now and then with suggestions of how to attack “the bad guys.” This latest incident occurred when I typed the word, “attack” in reference to trolls attacking Desteni — or any other group for that matter that stands as a solution to rid the world of abuse. As soon as I wrote the word, I noticed myself changing; my body temperature was getting hotter, and inside me there was a movement of energy similar to the way I would interpret the generation of anger, yet with a different frequency. Immediately I just stopped myself from speaking/typing because I realized that whatever came out from that point would just be energy/personality. It took about 15 minutes, during which time my body became hotter like I had a fervor, and I felt very uncomfortable. I figure this was because upon activating this personality, I also let lose a heap of stored energy that wanted to become action, but couldn’t because I didn’t give it an outlet, kind of like medicating psychological disorders, a stop-gap, but not a solution. I realize that this personality is of the fear within and as me of humanity. Yea, it’s simple as that; however, what I’ve also come to realize is that, standing stable within and as me as the physical where I would be as what is best for all, does not require pushing against/opposing/counter-attacking an attacking energetic force; why because the attacking force is of energy which stands no chance against the physical. It’s kind of like chi gong wherein one may stand his ground by simply grounding himself to not be moved by an attacker’s “energy” exertions. The key to standing my ground is to be and remain within and as the physical, and not allow myself to fall into the mind-traps of creating energy by thinking/believing that energy deflects/counters energy; it doesn’t, energy reacts to energy to resource more energy from me the physical.

 

So, over the last couple of years I’ve stayed a few steps back form certain controversial topics, for fear of reacting and attacking, instead of standing as an example as what human beings are able to be, the solution in and as what is best for all. Specifically, in regards to trolls attacking the Desteni message, within me there was a desire to have them attack me so as to feel justified in using words as swords to attack them. What I now realize is that all I was doing was basically keeping that personality entity at bay while I slowly removed much of its armament/ammunition so as to prepare myself to once and for all remove this personality form me. I begin taking on this personality entity by writing it out, writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements, and then physically living and directing myself in accordance with my writings to not allow the activation of this personality; thus depriving it of the energy required to sustain it; thus breaking it down and removing it; anything of the system that I’m unable to physically use, I’ll simply excrete.

 

Self-forgiveness and self commitments

  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a personality system within and as me to lurk in the background; thus allowing its existence as an energetic entity within and as me. I now see, realize and understand that this personality system, as with all personality systems are not who I am as life, but are energetic expressions of and as the nature of what I have accepted and allowed myself to become. In this, I commit myself to continue changing the nature of me to be and become that which is best for all; thus removing this and all personalities from me so that the only one left standing within and as me is the personality equal and one with life within and as the principle of what is best for all.
  • I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that I might need this personality to survive, and within this did not allow myself to see, realize and understand that, only that which is not equal and one with life fears for its survival. I see, realize and understand that that which fears in not here, but in and as energy of the mind as an illusion of separation. Herein I commit myself to stand without fear, so as to be able to direct myself within and as physicality to a point that is standing as what is best for all.
  • I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to fear this militarized/weaponized personality because I feared that it would lead me to cause harm, and thus reveal the true nature of what I had accepted and allowed within and as me. In this, I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to fear revealing myself as a personality for fear that others would see the lies within and as me. I now see, realize and understand that I had allowed myself to be trapped within a self-cycling/self-justifying personality as an idea that I had created and believed to be me. Herein, I commit myself stop all points of activation that fuel this personality, so that – deprived of its energy source, I am able to delete it.
  • I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to participate in ideas of how to attack the bad guys, and within this point, not realize that the definition of “bad guys” lie within and as me. I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to define good/bad; thus trapping myself within and as the polarities of the mind. I now see, realize and understand that there is no good or bad, but only that which is best for all, and that which isn’t. I commit myself no longer define anything within and as polarities, and instead simply direct myself to stand as a point that is best for all, as a solution.
  • I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to stay a few steps back for fear of reacting and attacking, and within this point not realize that I wasn’t standing as change that is best for all, but simply avoiding having to face myself and thus change me. Herein I commit myself to direct me to stand as a man that is best for all, and face and change the points within and as me – that are not.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word, attack. I now see, realize and understand that words unto which I react are words unto which I have defined in polarity, that which will not stand the test of time. I hereby redefine the word, attack, to be an energetic exertion for the purpose of causing harm. Within this, I see, realize and understand that energy does not stand any chance against a physical stance; thus I commit myself to the process of standing equal and one within and as my physical body, so as not to react or be moved by the word, attack or any other words.
  • I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as a desire to be attacked by the trolls, because I perceived that in being attacked I would also be justified in attacking. I now see, realize and understand that the desire to be attacked is the desire to attack; it’s an energy/fear based system designed to cycle within and as mind so as to resource energy form the physical; to attack or react to an attack is to attack self in and as the containment of one’s mind. Herein I commit myself to when/as I find myself at the point of perceiving I am being attacked; stop, breathe and bring myself back into and as the physical so as to direct the situation to a solution that is best for all.

 

Desteni

 

 

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