Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

August 11, 2013

Self Forgiveness

Filed under: Writing out the Mind: 2010-July 2, 2012 — Tags: , , — Thomas La Grua @ 12:44 pm

Self forgiveness

  • I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe that, in general the vast majority of people are just plain stupid.

  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge “people” as being stupid, and within this judgment, not see the judgment within and as me of being smart which is actually just a degree of stupidity.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word stupid, and in so doing not realize that I was projecting onto the world, blame for me not yet being the man that I would be.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that wanting to be something is to participate in an illusion; thus keeping me from being anything but an illusion. I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to participate in ideas of how I might me, and instead just just continue to always change me to be what is best for all, which is the best that I’m able to be.
  • I forgive myself that haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the degree to which people will allow themselves to see reality is not based on being smart/stupid, but self-interest of and as the fear of not surviving. Herein, I commit myself to when attempting to see another for who he/she really is, place myself in the shoes of that person, so as understand them as me.
  • I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that, as long as people are stuck in survival mode, there will be the continued fear that obscure the obvious solution that the only way human kind will survive is through interdependent cooperation based on what is best for all, that which will also break the cycle of fear.
  • I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to (when writing) consider solutions from the starting point of how people/we are actually able to break through the point of fear so as to be able to implement solutions. I now see, realize and understand that all solutions must start/begin at the point of alleviating the fear so as to be able to implement the solution.
  • I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that my judgments only prolong my fear; thus prolonging my process of seeing, realizing, understanding and changing the nature of me.
  • When and as I find myself at the point of judging another to be stupid/smart, I stop, take a few breaths, and look within and as me to the starting point comparison and polarity of that judgment, and I deal with that point, let it go and direct myself to focus on and stand as points that support a solution as opposed to a problems.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adamantly oppose secrecy, and within and as this point not see, realize and understand that, that which I oppose is a point within and as me that I haven’t yet aligned to equality within/as what is best for all. I now see, realize and understand that to oppose is to project that which I harbor within and as myself. That which I self-honestly support and stand-as produces no opposition/projection because it’s simply a self-honest stand. I now see, realize and understand that in opposing secrecy instead of simply standing in and as honesty, I was actually demonstrating the secrecy within and as me. Herein I commit myself to when and as I find myself attacking/opposing points; stop, breathe and bring those points back to me so that I may address and let them go from the source of the opposition/attack, me. That which I self-honestly stand as – both internally and externally I support in all points of and as me. I commit myself to when and as I find myself at the point of projecting opposition onto another/others; stop myself, and address and correct the point within and as me so as to support that which I would be; instead of opposing or projecting that which I’ve accepted and allowed in/as me.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require to present an articulate image of me, while holding the secrets within and as me of how much time I spend just unscrambling me and attempting to make sense of the world around me.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require to present an image of me that is certain as to the path I’m walking, when if reality, the only thing I’m certain is that I have found no better options than to continue walking a path to self honesty. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having made a decision, not just move myself at full speed, but rather walk along like reluctant child.
  • I forgive myself that I have subconsciously accepted and allowed myself to sometimes just want to scream out and blame the world for not changing the world, instead of simply living responsibility for changing me, as is required for all others to do to change the world.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself sitting down having a cold beer, and within this not see, realize and understand that at that this point of imagination, I’ve already activated a personality system, and am no longer even here as the real me.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the real me does not require a mind to be directed by.
  • I commit myself to stop the imaginations, so as to live as I live – without wasting time on images/illusion.

Desteni

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