Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

August 5, 2013

Desteni Testimony: The Cult Question Revisited Part 2

Filed under: desteni — Tags: , , — Thomas La Grua @ 11:41 am

Continuing on with my observations, experiences, and changes that I have realized through my participation with Desteni. First let’s once again get this cult question out the way. I’d say that the word, “Cult” implies brainwashing, a word that triggers in many people a reaction of fear, the point at which the brainwashed allow themselves to be manipulated/controlled. Similar to words such as conspiracy-theory, liberal, conservative, feminist, racist, etc., it is (in regards to Desteni) probably being used mostly by Haters and Trolls for the propose of eliciting reactions from people; thus trapping them into one point as a picture/memory that they’ve attached to the word, cult. For me, the word, “Cult” elicits Jamestown , cyanide-laced cool aid, blue bloated bodies, hippies, free love, the sixties, and religion. Of course this is not an accurate definition of anything; thus if I allowed myself to get stuck on any single one of those images that I’ve attached to that word that some-one else has attached to a point that I’m investigating, how objective would my conclusions actually be?

I define “Brainwashed” as the refusal to look at and see the physical reality for fear of the consequences one’s mind has subconsciously linked to the act of seeing and acknowledging the physical reality. It’s a paranoia at the root of which is always a choice, to see or not to see, which also implies to be or not to be. For example, let’s push the Stop-button of the brainwashed: “CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT, CULT.” See, it’s easy to bring up images and/or trigger a state of fear so as to keep people paralyzed/polarized from accessing their common-sense reasoning abilities. Push the Go button: “LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE,” and the brainwashed move forward to access “glorious images” of war, while completely ignoring the horrible physical realities staring them in the face. Specifically, the cult question is really just a distraction like so many others employed by those who have learned which buttons to press so as to keep people from diverging from their brainwashed/programmed ideologies. I realize that I may not have answered many questions there; however, these kinds of fear-based questions are really only able to be answered to a point of understanding, by self investigation.

As for what I have come to understand through the support and assistance of all involved with Desteni, I will now share some of which I have not shared before. I guess the best place to start is also the worst. Looking back over the years from 1982 to just around the middle of 2012. It would be about thirty-years, the amount of time I am able to say with certainty that I rarely went more than a week – usually not more than one or two days – without consuming large quantities of alcohol. It’s not a story of hardship or falling in the gutters, but of wandering around different parts of the world, much of the time – when not working – in a drunken state, which is the way I usually preferred it. After a while, I even affectionately adopted the term, functioning alcoholic, and so I was as I saw it. I never have had any intention of locking myself away in a 9-5 job, slaving away just to retire and die. No, my plan was and still is – with a few additions – to see and understand all that is here on this planet. The alcohol, for which I had many justifications, I used, or so I believed at the time, to put others at ease with me, because I was almost always a stranger in town, but more importantly as means to escape the the realization that I was trapped in a world where I could find no logical answers or reasons for even being here. So I embraced the reality that, as I was stuck here I might as well make the best of it. Actually, I was probably in my teens when I decided that I would just make this life a vacation. One day when my older brother asked me what I was going to do when I was old with no money and no one to take care of me, I simply replied, “that’s easy, I’ll just die.” And that – along with many adventures and always the unanswered questions just about sums up my life until 2008 when I suddenly started to wake up from my 17 year Asian slumber – as I call it because all I accomplished as far as I was concerned was to pass the time away. From a societal/cultural perspective, I would probably be considered to be established and successful; however, I never saw myself that way, and worst of all, there came a time when I realized that there was nothing more new that I cared to see or do in this world. No, I wasn’t suicidal, just fed up with what I viewed as an examined, yet unanswered life.

Deciding to study in Beijing was really just an escape route for me. I didn’t then, nor do I  now care about a PhD; I just needed a plausible excuse to deceive my wife, as to why I had to get out of the business we had worked hard on for the last eight years. It was that image of me being stuck there that I just refused to accept. I had done a lot of academic studying in my life, to the point that I realized that the education system was not about helping people realize anything new, but about locking them into cycles of controlled consensus with the reward of an easy life going to the professors/teachers who toed the lines. I had studied for an MBA for the most part with whiskey, wine, beer and cigars (all at the same time), and that got me pretty much straight A’s, but when I started studying for a PhD in Chinese and International law, it really hit me that, I might just as well be a zombie (sitting there in class listening to professors read aloud the textbook), for all the wasted/useless information about how Law supposedly works. Law doesn’t currently work for anyone but for those who have the money to pay for it. It’s a tangled mess wherein the only laws that actually apply to people/nations are the ones that are being applied unto them by entities more powerful than them, the ones with more money and guns. The point I’m making is that, I had searched for answers (real answers, not the ones that we believe simply because a Book or preacher says it to be) all the way up to the highest levels of the education system, and found it to be for the most part, just a money making sham.

I do however, still encourage people to obtain certain degrees, as it is currently still a requirement for opening some doors; however, if one really cares to expand beyond the walls of the education system, I have not a single moment’s hesitation in saying, go straight to the Desteni website, and the younger you do this, the more prepared you will be to face the realities of this world, head-on.

Continuing with my journey with Desteni: having put in about 10-14 hours per day investigating the Desteni material over the course of a year, I made the decision to put the thesis work on “Displaced Refugees” aside, and focus on the material of life – as I called it. Honestly, it was a very simple decision, and those who have come to the same decision probably understand why. It’s question of pushing through our hard-wired programming and stepping out of our comfort-circles, but once that is done, I’d say, the journey begins. For me initially however, it wasn’t a question of initially pushing through anything, because I didn’t accept anything on faith, and I still don’t. In other words, I read and listen carefully to the words, and when I have questions in terms of correlating information, I note them to keep in a separate mind-file so to speak for further cross referencing. As for the thesis, it’s in the works of this and everything else I write.

Finally after about 2-3 years, of just studying the Desteni material, I made the decision to join the forum and move a little closer to the group. I enrolled in a course called SRA, Structural Resonance Alignment. I didn’t necessarily see it as complex, but comprehensive in that most of the information and the tools with which to use that information were totally new to me. This is where one requires to really search the horizon to see what is actually here. It’s like the story of the Aztecs looking out over the ocean and not seeing Cortes’ ships because their minds had no memories or reference points by which to categorize and asses such images; therefore, as the images that their physicals eyes probably saw, just didn’t compute, no pictures lit-up inside their minds. I remember having to read 3 or 4 sentences on the nature of judgments many times over the course of several weeks just to get to the point where I understood what was being said, and it wasn’t about the vocabulary; it was simply that I had never encountered that perspective before, it went directly counter to mine. So it was tremendously challenging; however in using the tools and applying this information, I started to and still am in the process of changing my world, certainly for the better.

One of my first realizations was that, everything/100% of what I experience is “all” me, i.e., it has nothing to do with anything or anyone else but me. In looking at this point, it’s easy to see why so many insist on remaining programmed/brainwashed in their roles as victim of their thoughts, feelings and emotions, without realizing that we are able to direct ourselves, instead of being at the mercy of the situation. The way I see it, it’s really just about logic and common-sense. For example, looking objectively/logically at the statement, “He made me angry!” one might ask; how could another possibly reach inside of you and make you anything?

Looking at the information and knowledge that I have acquired since I began studying the material, it’s staggering to consider how limited my view was in so many ways, and the shame is not how little I knew, but that I had accepted – as my reality – that as long as I was here in this body, I wouldn’t be able to understand more. This as I see it was a mistake – to let the fear of god stifle me.

There is much more, and I will probably continue in posts to come.

If it seems as though I haven’t really said much about Desteni, that’s because it’s not about “Desteni”; it’s about you and me and all that is here. Desteni just happens to be the name of a point that is bringing it all together.



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