Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

July 10, 2013

An expulsion of Mind Activity

Please note: The following is represents an expulsion of mind activity, and is by no means meant to be conclusive or even correct. I just wanted to get it out of me.

I have spent many days attempting to put into words/understand the meaning of birthing self as Life in the physical. Some really cool points have come up, and I’m like “wow, these are cool realizations”; yet no matter how often I attempt to write it out to the point of absoluteness wherein the words are able to stand alone, I keep finding a point or points that still require support. I realize that, the Gift of Life that has always been here within and as the Present, is the ability of self to create self – eternally – as Life. This, as I see it is the only True Power within and as existence, the power to unconditionally gift/give eternally. There are other forms of power, but as long as there is sacrifice/conditionality attached, there is no eternity, and thus they are not Power as Truth, but only the illusion of power or the power of Illusion over life.

I have decided to just let go of – at least for now – some of the points that I’ve been writing and writing and writing about, to the point that I often find myself writing right back where I started-in trying to figure things out. My “idea” in writing or attempting to write these points out has been that, if I am able to write them to the point of absoluteness, then I will have purified my words, in essence purifying me. What I’m now considering is the “What comes first; the chicken or the egg?” Perhaps the order of purifying words to purify self must be equally aligned to and as my deeds. Perhaps I’ve so often found myself stuck at one point, because I’ve been focusing too much on writing the big words, and not enough on the living the small deeds to become those words that I would write/live.

Anyway, I’m just going to put a few of these writings out there, kind of like an update for the global mind. They’re not complete, and this I understand; however, I now see that they’re only ever going to be as complete as I am, as the changes in me, and this requires me to also focus on changing me.

The Power of One
There is only One Power and it’s always here in and as the Present. It is the Power of Life to gift unto One’s self, Eternal Life. Break it down and you’ll see there’s nothing abusive or religious about what I’m stating; it’s just a matter of common sense logic, that which is applied in consideration of the mathematics of One/Truth/Equality or simply that which is equally applicable to All. Understand that this power of life, the ability to create self as life eternally, is our gift as Life to ourselves. Yes, we – as ourselves – have in-essence separated ourselves from life, i.e., those “selves” who think “I am” are actually not as of yet, life because they/we are not eternal, but sacrificial.

The key to realizing this gift is self-honesty and self-forgiveness: self honesty within/as the principle of give as you would like to receive; and self forgiveness within and as the understanding that, a gift, to be and be received must first be “unconditionally” given. In other words, the gift of Life is that which only self is able to gift unto self by equally gifting unto All – in essence unconditionally gifting unto self. The key here to eternity is to turn inward and return self to life as Life. OM essence, the totality of all that is here within and as self. To put is simply, the power of One as the gift of Life is the ability of self to create self as Life; self simply return as self to life to birth self as life.

How is one able to gift unto self eternally as life. The answer is simple: stand one within and as Life. Here it would probably helpful to understand what life is, and the difference between Life and self. Life is the source of everything that is and is perceived to be. Self is the energetic reflection – that which Life has been utilizing in an attempt to evolve or become more than what it/we have always been.

Just as we produce energy for the purposes of enabling or animating lights, computers and machines, so too do we produce energy for the purpose of enabling or animating our-selves as Mind/Consciousness. The current-difference between Life and Consciousness is the sacrifice as the current (energy) produced and consumed in order to animate Mind/Consciousness. In other words – currently – Life/Source/Substance/Physicality is sacrificed unto Mind/Consciousness/Ego – the energetic entity or reflection of the nature of who/what we have become as Life – for the purpose of sustaining it/ourselves long enough for it/us to figure out how to become Life eternally.

What am I currently doing? I am attempting to figure/write this out so as to forever end the sacrifice. I as consciousness – an energetic entity of Life – realize that the Power of One to gift unto self must be unconditionally/equally gifted unto all, i.e., there must be no sacrifice.

The reason I say that there is only One Power within and as existence is because “true” power as the power to create – as Life – does not sacrifice or charge.

Lets look at the beginning and the end, starting with the first molecule or single sound expression as our very first awareness – or place from which One see what is here. The very first molecule, alone within and as Existence was obviously Here. One within and as (the totality) of Existence; let’s divide our-self into and as two selves. Now we are two selves within and as One. The relationship lines are actually you within and as me, and me within and as you; there is no space but perhaps for the pauses between the in and out breathes of giving and receiving. Now we explore by multiplying and attempting to expand outward for more, in all ways maintaining the same geometric proportion of Oneness and Equality. Yet, instead of expanding, we’re actually just dimensionally layering or compounding… I wonder if that first awareness of that molecule or single sound expression ever considered that its geometric design could also look inward, and perhaps prevent the compounding of consequence.

Consider this: “true” power is the power to create from nothingness. Creation implies the manifestation of that which not here before. So, we’re in -life- essence creating our “selves” as a new life from that which is already here as life.  What are these selves that are not yet life? They/we are an outflow of sacrificial Power that we take for granite, not seeing, realizing or understanding that true granite has no deadline.

I realize that such sentences appear confusing as though there must be more to it. Confusion (sounds like Confucius) lies in complexity; whereas Truth is always what is physically the easiest to see because it is within and as everything equally applicable, equally here as all that is here. To be Truth/eternal – as opposed to Illusion – there must be no sacrifice, and it must apply equally to all. Let’s face it, we human are not yet Life because there is no unconditional giving; it’s all sacrificial. And so we pray for eternal Life, while our gift of Life slowly fade away, a wasted opportunity, a wasted life.

Why are we not yet life? My guess is we fucked up at one of our beginnings, and became stuck in a moment as Time/Mind/energy, trapped in between the Yin and the Yang so to speak. Either way, the path is to cross the divide to an actual Beginning, and this requires an End — of Sacrifice…

Much of the IT chatter is about the exponential increases of information technology, and how very soon, human consciousness won’t even require a human physical body; “We’ll be able to upload it into a computer/avatar and become immortal.” It’s like The Matrix revisited: everyone’s pushing to go deeper and deeper into the virtual world of information, without realizing what we already have right here in and as this physical reality. It’s like we just refuse to stop running from reality, and perhaps that why we’re called the human race.

The exponential compounding of information technology is quite fascinating in how we’re racing to embrace it as a so-called solution or way to escape death, without realizing that the physical reality in and as the consequences of this race is also exponentially compounding just as fast, yet to a different magnitude, thus appearing to change more slowly. I’d say that the two – illusion and consequence are correlated, i.e., the faster we race into the information/illusion to escape reality, the faster the consequences to this physical reality, compound. Until we reach that point of singularity that everyone’s talking about when cause and effect/consequence become as one and there’s nowhere left to hide.

The primary connections or relationships that I’ve been attempting to show in these posts are those (in the small) of our minds as Consciousness systems of ENERGY to our physical-bodies as Ecosystems of LIFE, and (in the big) the Collective of our mines as the Consciousness system of ENERGY/MONEY to Earth as an Ecosystem of LIFE that is physically here. Specifically, in and as these relationships (from the small human- mine, to the big money system – mine) we as human-beings have trapped ourselves into and as the illusion that energy/money is more real and thus important than the consequences we are causing to all that is here in/as Earth. Many believe that we as a whole are unable to change, employing a form of cognitive dissonance or submission – based on one’s money supply, to keep one (in illusions) as separate as we could possibly be from the truth or consequences of this physical reality.

It’s ironic because it’s only an illusion of separation; regardless of how far one hide in the mind, it’s only energetic experiences of highs and lows. While that which is happening in and as this physical reality, the matter of people, plants and animals really, really, really, really dying, and being wiped out of existence is a permanent mark on us all, meaning that the responsibility to stop these atrocities will not – like love and light – just fade away just because we die. No, even though we charged it, those that remain will still have to pay for the sins of their fathers.

See (in the big), the consequences of our unequal relationships that have manifested within and as the world economies, the world-system of money, and realize that these consequence are equally occurring in the small where they began. Understand that these consequences are outflows of our relationships, our acceptances and allowances, and that they are Compounding. How fast are they compounding? I’d say that the compounding of consequence unto us and this physical reality are aligned with the exponential increases in Information technology, dead on course to Singularity, the point (I guess) at which Cause and Consequence become One. So, for those who say they want they’re children to have better lives, I suggest putting the will to reality while you’re still here.

From Devolution to Evolution
Before we are able to evolve we must first stop devolving. Ours is a process of stopping the competition, turning ourselves around and learning to cooperate.

I’d say that the nature of who we’ve become as mankind has been defined by our treachery in the name of self-interest and greed. Parasites are organisms that live in or on another organism (the host) and benefit by deriving nutrients at the host’s expense. We are the deadliest parasites of Earth, and should never allow ourselves to leave this planet unless we have proven that we have changed our nature from that of self-interest and greed, to that of unconditionally giving and receiving in the interests of what is best for all. We still have an opportunity to change. We are still able to stand up, take responsibility for all that is here, reverse the competition to cooperation, the abuse to care, and in so doing become the custodians/guardians of the life that we may become.

We are currently at a state of devolution within and as an illusion of separation, which we human beings now perceive to be more real – the illusion – than the physical reality that we perceive ourselves to be separate from. It took a lot of time to cause because as we cut down and threw out of balance the ecosystem that was here.  Earth, Nature and the Animal kingdom were able for a time to re-balance; their sacrifice giving us with a false sense of security, but really only prolonging the inevitable. In essence we in the name of survival/competition have been fighting against ourselves and everything else to the point that the ecosystem of Earth is way off balance, i.e., the consequences are no longer being contained; the debt on the charge is now becoming due.

However, once we have stopped and turned ourselves around to move with the flow of Life, the journey to life will perhaps be more like paddling downstream because all will be moving in the same direction. Consider what we are able to do in cooperation with one another, Earth, nature, and the animal kingdom… The opportunity is here, and those who are not yet realizing it – in one way or another – will as they/we loose everything that we have ever valued. We as human-beings have yet to reach rock-bottom; the worst of what we continue to amass is yet to come.. This in not a prophecy, just an observation of a trend-line based on the clear signs of exponentially compounding consequences that are no longer able to be contained. It’s funny how we so easily realize the exponential growth/rise/evolution of knowledge and information – that which is not physically here; yet we fail to consider, and even ignore the inverted correlation – the consequence to which is physically here.

Very few people in this world have even the slightest clue as to the inner and outer workings of this world. Thus, a new education system is required to assist the masses us to understand the design of the systems from the small to the big to replace the old with the new. This process will take generations; however, to begin to function in the new system, it is not necessary to understand all of it’s workings, only the foundation of Equality and Oneness within and as the principles of give as you would to receive, and do unto others what you would have them do unto you = the what is best for all. For more on this go to .

There is an awakening of sorts within the human population from which have arisen groups that are willing to move themselves in the name of a solution. Yet, without these groups coming together in one way or another, and agreeing upon a definition of – at least – of what would be the Best solution, there is unlikely to be a solution at all. Make no mistake about it, as is often said, we are at war; yet not with foreign countries, corporations, the Illuminati, elite, etc., but with ourselves, the design of an energy entity called Consciousness which would have us remain trapped in our illusions, forever divided and conquered.

If one really look at and consider reality, nothing is certain because everything under consideration is a perception based on a form of interpretation. The most exact form of interpretation we’ve come up with to date is mathematics, followed by the sciences, religions, etc., and none of them are even in perception exact. In fact, the more we move away from the idea of zero or nothingness in search of how existence works, the more we’ve come to realize that we are the ONLY works that determine the outcomes. Specifically, we are creating “EVERYTHING” that is here. The question then becomes; why have we not created a place that is paradise for All? It’s as though we desire to be served by all the rest, not realizing that if we base ourselves on comparison, then we’re always going to be limited by that which we are comparing.

The relationship we as individuals collectively accept and allow on the inside, outwardly manifests as humanity’s relationship unto itself and everything else, as within so without. Just as the human physical body is a designed representative of the clay of Earth, so too is Money a designed representative of the Mind. If someone were to give you a million dollars, would you push a button and destroy a forest? Regardless of your answer, this is what most human being do every single moment of our lives, kill and consume just to have and maintain the experience of who we “think” we are. Just as our TVs consume energy to light up the pictures on the screen, so too do our minds consume our physical human bodies to energize the mind so that we may experience ourselves in a certain light.

The source of the power comes from what is physically here. As mind consciousness systems Within and as the human physical body, we mine/consume our bodies to produce energy for the mind’s thoughts, feelings and emotions. To put it another way, on a personal scale, our human physical bodies are the power sources for our mind consciousness systems. Until of course the source of energy begins to run dry, and then the mind closes down and we die. On a planetary scale, the exact same process is happening, only this time we’re resourcing/consuming “everything” that is physically here to transform into money. Why, because it’s what we’ve come to accept as just the way things are; almost everyone is in survival mode.

From the small to the big, it’s what is has been determining the outflows or consequence of this world. It begins in the minds of each human-being (we call it consciousness), and collectively extends to manifest as the world system (of money). Whether you see it or not, paranoia is running rampant: from the neighbor spying through the curtains, to the NSA trying to monitor and control the Information flow of every single man, woman and child on the planet, Big brother is definitely in charge. But guess what, we through our fucked up mental relationships to our physical-bodies created BB, and what you see on the outside in the world system is as the saying goes, as above so below, and now big brother just doesn’t want to let go.

Why would any but the most insane, argue against equality? Should a Canadian man’s currency of life be valued more than a North Korean man’s currency of life? To answer “yes” to this question is to attempt to justify slavery in all its forms, as though it’s acceptable for even one, let alone thousands of malnourished children to suffer and die each day simply because you worked hard for your pay (back).

The Con of Consciousness: we’ve conned ourselves into believing that the experience is Life, and Life is but an illusion, when actually, Life is what is the matter that is physically here, while the experience that fades away unless the energy is maintained is the illusion.

How much more obvious could it be? The only certainty of Life is that which is physically here. We as human beings have in essence separated ourselves into different realities: mind consciousness systems that many believe is who we are; a beingness or awareness that just seems to observe, and finally this physical existence which of course includes our physical human bodies. So, who or what is real in all of this; what is the Matter within and as each of us that remains? This is the question we require to self-honestly ask ourselves before it’s too late to realize that Life is what is physically here, and we as physical participants are responsible for the maintenance of the ‘physical’ world. To put it bluntly, we’ve fucked up. We got it all wrong and put Life in reverse by ‘thinking’ that our consciousness was what matters, when in reality the mind is all about the energy resourcing/consuming our physical bodies, giving us nothing more than a pre-programmed automated/robotic energetic experience. Sure, consciousness has been evolving; just check out the latest virtual reality video games, or the advancements in robotics; perhaps soon we’ll even be able to transfer our mind consciousness systems into humanoid robots, and no longer even need nature, and the animal kingdom. That’s our grand consciousness Plan, isn’t it? Why else would we human beings be poisoning the waters, chopping down the forests and destroying hundreds of species a day? Oh! Yes, because it makes a small minority happy, puts a smile on their faces, and all they need do to maintain that smile is turn on the light and ignore the cries of everything else.

Those who are currently existing in the darkness, the reality of the evil that we have become or perhaps always were, are probably the ones most ready to embrace the solution of equality and oneness.


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