Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

February 1, 2013

Day 93: Time to check out the countryside

Filed under: Desteni I process, seven year journey to life — Thomas La Grua @ 8:00 pm

This is basically how I’ve been making my way through the world system as far back as I remember, stopping for a while, exploring, and then moving on. There are considerations that I apply to where I work and live, such as the cost of living, the currency rate, the environment, etc., yet on this occasion it is for the most part a comparison of the benefits/drawbacks of staying home in my current location, versus the benefits/drawbacks of setting up somewhere else. Looking back at the last year or so, I see that this is just about the way I planned it; in a sense, right back where I started, yet this time with a different point of view. My family – wife and dog appear to be healthy, and I have regained the strength/use of my legs (ankles and knees), which is interesting because my posture/walk is now better than it used to be – a post for another day.
What will I do with my opportunity? (*Every breath is actually an opportunity)
I’ll use it to continue testing/investigating/walking my path, to see what changes I’ve solidified and what remains of mind. As far as whether I’ll stay in Taoyuan City or go somewhere else to live and work for a while remains. for me to see, keeping my eyes open for something new. The main point as I see it is to continue walking step-by-step, and not get lost trying to go back to the way I was before; I’ve been down that back-road before and I didn’t enjoy it. So, tomorrow I’ll drive down to central Taiwan to the area where I had lived and worked at the Buddhist elementary school. I enjoy the environment down there – mountains, rivers, trees, bicycle riding, hiking, etc. It’s the location I’ve been eyeing as a place to possibly resettle – trade in the city life, for a house with a garden and trees in the country. Last year I went there thinking that it would be simple to do just that. It didn’t work out that way; my big plans rarely do, because they really do require to be walked in space time, step by step. Since that time, I’ve realized that I had created an idea based on how I imagined my life should be, and in chasing that idea, I had skipped some necessary steps required to actually get there. This time around, I’m slowing myself down. After-all, I now realize that it doesn’t really matter what location I’m at, as long as I am directing myself to be and remain here.
  • I commit myself to stay on the course of change that I’ve established and within this, direct myself to move deeper into/as the physical, living here.
  • I commit myself to expand me within and as the changes that I have begun to realize, and within this solidify these changes. Specifically, I commit myself to when deciding which direction to move, keep it practical and physical.
  • I commit myself (within planning and deciding where I’ll be living and working) to keep my focus on what is practical and best for all those involved.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the act of driving around in the city, looking for a parking space, eating out, and regretting that I didn’t just insist that we stay home and eat.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge “eating out for entertainment) to be a waste of money and rarely fun.
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