Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

October 10, 2012

Day 54: Starting to target personalities

A point that has been with me for a long time is the point (while reading/studying/listening to Desteni material)of interrupting myself with thoughts of me demonstrating, showing / explaining to others the significance/meaning of this material. It’s reoccurring and obtrusive in that like any other thought that I allow, it causes me to not be here or miss that which I am currently “attempting” to absorb/assimilate. In the case of studying; this kind of “thought or imagination” interruption is costly / time-consuming because it means that I have to re-listen or re-read the material that I just missed by not being here in the moment. 
On the topic of my studies, I am starting to get an overview of the mind consciousness system as an interdimensional physical system, how it looks and functions within and as the human physical body, and thus perhaps how to direct and or stop its functions. It is complex system, but so are many of today’s technological systems; indicating that with the support that is currently available and coming out (as I stated before, it’s all being neatly packaged at desteni.org), those who are willing and not yet in survival mode, who honestly apply themselves to understand will do so and in doing so perhaps change, and in this way we change the world. 
Getting back to the thought: Usually this thought appears as a split second flash as a picture/imagination of me explaining to friends the material that I am in that moment studying. There is a feeling associated with the thought that once my friends see/hear me explain this information to them, they will then realize 1) that I was right, and 2) the importance of directing themselves to further investigate. Within this I realize that my ego is still desiring confirmation/support for the path I am on, and that I still desire to see others get on this or a similar path heading (as I see it) in the direction of equality and oneness / awareness. This thought is a reoccurring interruption that I realize that is attached to a personality, and… I’ve just about figured out how to systematically break down the thought dimensions. First I’m going to study a bit more, and then I’ll come back to this thought. Having just reread: Character Dimensions – Practical Application (Part 1): DAY 163
Thought dimension
The thought is of me standing and explaining things to friends – the ones I used to see often before I began investigating existence and now rarely see them. Sometimes it’s with a family member. It’s as though I have this desire/urge to spread this knowledge, which on the surface might seem cool, yet on closer examination it’s clear to me that a desire is of the mind – manipulating for energy, and not a self-directed statement of who I am in the moment.
Self-forgiveness statements
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an automated thought come up within and as me, and within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to participate here as a self-directed being, and instead have allowed within and as me the automation of/as a mind consciousness system.
  • I commit myself to when and as I notice this thought or any other thoughts (especially when I am in the process of studying / completing an assignment – that which assists me in practical physical living) to immediately stop them and not allow myself to be led down the whit rabbit hole of mind energy.
Imagination dimension
Within this dimension, I imagine that the people I am speaking to “finally” get what I’ve been trying to get across; they now understand why it is so important that I/we investigate ourselves, and in this my stance is vindicated = I was right / I told you so.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the moment of facing/continuing completing a task, from a thought accept and allow myself to go further into my mind by imagining that which I desire and have defined as positive. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a positive value on an image/idea of others seeing what I am doing and affirming its importance. I commit myself to when and as I find myself at the point of imagining myself speaking to others about the information I acquire: I immediately stop the personality activation processes and in breath remain here doing/applying in/as the physical.
  • I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to place a positive or negative value on imagination as I see/realize and understand that the energy of positive and negative are one in the same as far as the mind is concerned; thus I simply do not participate.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire that my friends and family see and understand the importance of doing what I am doing, and within this I see/realize and understand that by desiring others to see/agree and understand what I am doing I am participating in the mind instead of stopping it.
  • To be continued
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1 Comment »

  1. Thanks for sharing!

    Comment by bella — October 11, 2012 @ 2:19 am


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