Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

October 5, 2012

Day 51: Quieter

Filed under: Desteni I process, La Grua, Self forgiveness, seven year journey to life — Thomas La Grua @ 12:10 pm

What to write about that I haven’t already written about? I’m now working long days on Monday, through Wednesday, and on those days I prefer to come come read/study, relax, listen to some interviews and go to sleep, i.e., without writing so much. My conscious mind is fairly quiet these days in that reactions are few and usually very short. However, I am noticing more and more the subconscious, whose overall (as in an overview of) design I am becoming familiar with (see Heaven’s Journey to Life Blog). Thus it’s cool to catch the internal conversations, and in realizing that they are of the subconscious, stop them. Yet, I’m still not sure how to clearly view what’s in my subconscious, or perhaps I am, yet am hesitant to do what it takes to get there / view what’s there. Writing, writing, writing… OK!
Two days later:
For the “most” part I am quiet in/as the mind, relative to where as I have been. This is cool, yet at the same time I question why – what have I done differently in the last week or two that would result in this sudden change/decrease in the amount of thoughts and internal conversations. I do not say, “emotions” because although they do sometimes attempt to arise, I these days usually stop them immediately. It’s interesting because for so long it’s been that thinking or rambling on about something inside my head, and then stop it. Now it’s as though I’m noticing that those voices/thoughts are not jumping up. So, back to the question of “Why?” Not everything (from my perspective) in terms of knowledge and information get through to me immediately. For example, in listening to the EQAFEinterviews of various beings / different perspectives, I find that each time I listen to an interview I’ll hear something that I didn’t hear before. Thus even though the information may be available, I may just not be hearing it. So I piece bits together in an attempt to make sense of this process of walking out of mind/energy and into physical living. Perhaps it has to do with the removal of the “if this than that” system.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to another, based on one’s voice tonality and within this not realize that in not seeing the entirety of this being in the moment of speaking, I really have little clue as to what that tonality is related to. Within I see/realize and understand that in reacting towards someone or something as in – if this than that, I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in a programmed response. Thus I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to judge the starting point of communication from others, and within I commit myself to no longer react internally or externally towards the communication that I receive.
  • I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that to be aware of a being’s motives / starting point regarding communication is to be physically here, one with and equal to that being so as to clearly see the starting point of that being and within this the specificity of what is being communicated. Thus I see/realize and understand that currently the meaning of all communication that I receive (from my perspective) is based on how I have defined me. Thus I commit myself to when receiving communication, read/hear only the words, and to in all cases not accept and allow myself to react; instead I remain stable, here in breath so as to respond in a manner that is best for all involved.
Creation’s Journey to Life
Heaven’s Journey to Life
Earth’s Journey to Life
Desteni
Thomas La Grua

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1 Comment »

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    Comment by Luka Novak — October 5, 2012 @ 1:32 pm


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