Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

September 6, 2012

Day 37

Filed under: Writing out the Mind: 2010-July 2, 2012 — Thomas La Grua @ 8:29 pm

Mind’s perspective:
It appears that, currently we are experiencing the inverse of (equality and oneness within/as that which is best for all). Our perceived separation – the dream/illusion that we are separate, leading to the perception of limitation is our self-imposed prison cell. That all is “One” is the starting point of the mathematics; yet still we refuse to see, preferring instead to grab what we can while we still can, leaving the consequences for later. “Later” as consequence of the past is and has always been the unseen-here, compounded manifested-consequence – present reality, matched only by the evolution of our ignorance / the ability to ignore what is here as us, by going deeper and deeper into the bubble of illusion. It’s definitely been an experience/experiment that most do not want to continue or ever repeat. The solution is not to swing back and forth (according to the pendulum effect) from bliss to horror, enduring more horror so as to swing further into the experience of bliss, until the pendulum comes to a stop. To then what, start over again? No, the solution is for all to stop our movement forward, and fix what is here as ourselves. So, why do I still write from the mind? Who is this (character) that has it all figured out?
Self forgiveness
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that “my perspective” is not that which is the perspective of life as I have yet to express life within and as equality and oneness. Within this I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a image/imagination of how I as consciousness see life, how I think it should be, how I want it to be, without seeing what is here as me.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I don’t have to see the horror to be one with it, and I don’t have to be the horror to be complicit in it, for I am one with the horror that we as one, commit; even if I deny it, it’s still me, parts of me that I have yet to stand and take responsibility for. Thus I commit myself to stand and change through taking responsibility for all that is me, so as to stop this insanity.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am this character that supports life and is willing to sacrifice itself as energy to return to substance. Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize that I am not a character, it’s only an actor standing in for me because I have yet to stand up to the plate and take a swing.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because this character supports life (in word), it is OK to keep this character. I see/realize and understand that all actors must be replaced with the real thing, me within oneness and equality.
  • I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the difference between me speaking as a character, and me speaking as life. I see/realize and understand that to speak as life is to speak from the physical with no thoughts or internal movement.
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