Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

August 28, 2012

Day 29: Morality

Morality
Judgments come in so many different forms that it’s sometimes hard to notice them, unless one really analyzes his thoughts; and that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ll start with me. What I’ve been missing for so so long is and has been right in front of my eyes, and behind my eyes as the judgment of self. I could say that it may have begun with the drilling of Catholicism into me as a youngster or when I at age 14 went away to a military boarding school. I could say that, but my real guess would be that it came about from my mother and father’s mind consciousness systems, which apparently forms the platform (as the unconscious mind) for the entire mind consciousness system. It’s funny because everybody knows that personality traits are transferred from parents to children, yet because scientists can’t seem to find a physical link / the download connection, they’ll theorize and theorize about parental influence on early childhood development, but most of it is just diversion to keep people agreeing to stay lost in the illusion. In today’s world, the biggest lies are the ones that the most people agree upon. Not that they always believe it themselves; the agreement is really just to continue to support each others illusions. Children today don’t stand much of a chance: parents teach them to lie and then tell them not to lie. They teach them to fear, and then tell them not be afraid… My childhood was little different, except that, for the most part, parents were lacking. Which in hindsight was cool because I got to teach myself to lie and there was no bullshit associated with – I did it when it was necessary and sometimes just for convenience. I guess it was somewhere during military school that I started developing principals – only lie when it’s very necessary, try not to steal… What I’m writing towards here is the word, Morality, beliefs about what is right/correct behavior and what is wrong/incorrect behavior. I have for a long time maintained a high standard of morality, but I’ve never, but I never saw myself as moralistic – that’s a term I saved for those I called, friends.
(to be continued)
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea of myself as seeing more than others/most and within this, place myself as an authority of what is good and bad / right and wrong.
  • I forgive myself myself for accepting and allowing myself to view myself and all else as me, as either right or wrong, and in choosing “the right way,” not see that I am in this choice/definition also accepting and allowing within/as me, a wrong way thus not ending the war by once and for all standing/walking for what is best for all, but only occasionally switching sides.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others, from a perspective of me seeing more than they, thus accepting and allowing myself to define/limit (by my definitions) who I am in relation to them and all else. I see/realize and understand that what I see in others is me, and that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate in definitions I will not see past those definitions, to what is here as me.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as morality, taking the high road, telling others which way to go as though I see more than they. I see, realize and understand that my writing and speaking as though I am the moral authority has been showing me a side of me which I was not seeing the moral authority.
  • I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see/realize and understand that within and as my personalized view of seeing more reality than others, I have I have ignored the views of others, thus limited myself to only my view of reality. Within this I see/realize and understand that to see what is here is within and as each breath let go of my preconceptions of what is here; hence each breath being a new breath, a new being. 
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