Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

June 21, 2012

Day 41: Self-forgiveness – The Future

Filed under: Writing out the Mind: 2010-July 2, 2012 — Thomas La Grua @ 11:52 am

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the future has never existed, and never will exist within and as anything except the gift of and as the Present.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see / realize / understand that every single-moment I spend thinking/projecting into the future / dimension of the mind, is a moment of life that I have spent/wasted/forsaken on the mind’s illusion of the future.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see / realize / understand that to participate within and as the illusion is to give unto the mind my present – the gift of life that I have forsaken in return for nothing but an illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see / realize / understand that the mind’s rewards, experienced as energetic highs and lows are that which we as Life/substance have bought and paid for with our One resource – Life/substance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even after having become aware of the mind-set traps, still fall into those traps, thinking/believing/hoping that I can utilize the mind to stay out of the mind, not realizing that, as the mind is mine it sees what I see and will of course adjust the settings of its mines/traps.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use excuses and justifications for going into the mind, and in this not realize that excuses and justifications are of the mind designed to to keep me as life trapped in the illusions of the mind.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that I as life within and as the physical do not require to be mind to exist.

When and as I find myself at the point of entering into the mind’s dimension/illusion of the future, I stop, breathe, and remain here within and as breath in the presence of that which is here – physicality/Life/substance. When and as I find myself at the point of experiencing any energetic movement whatsoever, I stop, breathe, and do not allow me to be fooled by the positive/negative nature of that movement – it’s all the same ( – ) in varying degrees. Thus, I do not allow myself to even consider taking the bait; for once there, Lifeblood has already been drawn.

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