Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

May 31, 2012

Day 28: Packing

Filed under: Writing out the Mind: 2010-July 2, 2012 — Tags: , — Thomas La Grua @ 4:07 am

Packing: because it meant going somewhere, used to be something like strategy, that I enjoyed doing. Now it’s still strategy, but it’s not fun. The thing is: I’m still not sure what I’m going to do and where I’m going to live. I’m leaving the very comfortable but lackadaisical setting, to work/live in a really cool area. It’s only 2 hours away from home, but it represents a commitment – and I’ve always been weary of commitments. I realize that it doesn’t matter where I am – as long as I’m ‘here.’ So, one of the reasons I’m making this move is to push me off my butt, and put me in a position where I have to move, work, etc. That’s why I’m only taking a small amount of money with me – so that physiologically I’ll I have an excuse to work. Working means interacting with others, i.e., expanding, and of course making money. Regarding money, I have a tendency to ‘earn’ on a need-to basis. Why do people (who aren’t in need) work so much, stashing money away? For one – we are afraid of not-having or having less in the future, and two – we are obsessed with the need to keep ourselves occupied. I realized quite some time ago that I had no control over saving and maintaining my money of the future; it came and went as it pleased. I realized that the only way to ‘guarantee’ the money/gift of the present was to use it in the present. The same applies to ‘life.’ The only way to guarantee the gift/life of the present is to live in the present. Unfortunately, life on this planet (the gift of life and one’s ability to express/live in the present) is directly correlated/dependent on money, and because money is not equally distributed, life is gifted to some, and denied to others. An Equal Money System would/will go a long way towards of course, equalizing this situation. It occurs to me that anyone who is against an equal money/equality system is simply a coward. But even cowards become courageous when they have nothing to lose. It’s probably a bit scary on the way there, but for one to actually live, it’s the only place to be.

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