Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

May 24, 2012

Day 25: Personality

Why (depending on the situation) do I change my personality – mannerism, physical posture, voice, facial expression, etc? Obviously, I change me to manipulate me and others. Within every situation I participate, I consciously and or subconsciously change me so as to affect the entirety of the situation to my advantage. Logically speaking, my taking advantage means that if I’m successful, another/others will have less, and there’s no honor in that. I would see that all are standing as equals; none take, but all give towards that which benefit all = all benefit. So, I think it’s time to (step by step) let of of the personalities and end this game of charades so that the me that one see is the only me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to (internally) within and as the mind, define my world and then project those definitions onto the physical reality – thus limiting my reality to an internally-created projected-perception, which in essence leaves me with a false/biased/unreliable sense of reality. When and as I find myself at the point of projecting my definitions onto another/others, I stop, breathe, and deal only with what is here in the physical reality. In this manner, I am more likely to insure that my movements are in deed based on reality – as opposed to perceptions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my external reality, and based on those judgments, change personalities-suits to manipulate others so as to get what I want. When and as I find myself at the point of changing me to accommodate/manipulate, I stop, breathe, and find the point within and as me that is here. From here, I express self-honestly without perceptions, definitions, etc. If my self-honesty is not accepted by others, so be it.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to limit my perception of reality to the limitations/inaccuracies of my internal definitions, thus preventing me from seeing what is actually here. When and as I find myself at the point of ‘thinking’ that I understand my external reality, I stop, breathe, and realize that everything that happens in and as the mind is an illusion that is programmed/designed to protect and sustain the mind/ego. Thus, it is for me to stop my current application (that do not support what is best for all life), reprogram me as a mind consciousness system that stands one with and equal to the physical, assisting the physical within and as the standing/living/existing of what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change personality-suits in an attempt to manipulate others, and in this, prevent me from standing within and as self-honesty – the inner equaling the outer. When and as I find myself at the point of changing me to suit another/others, I stop, breathe, and do not allow myself to dishonor me by participating in a lie. Instead, I remain stable within and as the principle of self-honesty and who I am as breath in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to express myself unconditionally as who I am as life, but instead have participated only as an actor improvising/compromising me because I feared that to not do so would cause me to lose the advantage. When and as I find myself in a position within which I am not expressing myself unconditionally, I stop, breathe, an reevaluate that position.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to maintain certain personalities because I feared that if I lost them I would become vulnerable or left at a disadvantage within a money system that shows no mercy. When and as I find myself at the point of holding onto personalities, I stop, breathe, and let go of it so that I can create me a new.

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