Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

April 28, 2012

Day 6

Filed under: Writing out the Mind: 2010-July 2, 2012 — Thomas La Grua @ 1:36 am

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the desire to have energetic experiences. When and as I find myself at the point of desiring to have energetic experiences, I stop, and breathe through this point of desire, so as to remain here, in and as that which is physical. That which is real is physically being here. Thus, I keep it real.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the mind’s perceived need for energy. When and as I find myself at the point of believing that “I” need energy, I stop, breathe, and within the realization that I, as one with all “I”s do not require energy to be. The perceived requirement for energy is an addiction. I as all as one as equal do not require energy. Thus, I move/will me to be here, stable, standing alone, as all as one as equal. I am the fathers and the sons, now creating me a new, within and as equality and oneness.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed me as all as one as equal to participate within and as the illusion of separation, the belief that that which one part of me does, does not affect the whole of me. When and as I find myself at the point of participating within the perception that I exist within and as separation, I stop, breathe, and I direct me as all as one as equal, to stand as all as one as equal, to stand as a pillar of that which stands of as and for that which is best for all life. Thus, no longer participating in the perception of separation, but instead – living here as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed me to participate within and as this illusion of separation, and in doing so have become lost, but for a moment, in my illusion. When and as I find me at the point of not seeing where I am, stop, breathe, and realize that I am here, and all is me – in different facets; I am one with all. That I am not seeing what is really here is the illusion. My process is to see what is really here – me – and change/assist me to stand and move as all as one as equal – oneness and equality.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to as of yet tear down the walls of this illusion, and live here, creating, as all, as one, as equal. When and as I find myself at the point of participating within and as the illusion – thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, judgments, comparison, love, hate, desire, wanting, fear, etc., I stop, breathe, stand and walk through this illusion, but not of it.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abuse me as life, by participating in the creation of energy, by participating in the addiction. When and as I find myself at the point of entering into that which is an addition, that which seems to fulfill a perceived need, I stop, breathe, and step by step I move away from these patterns, away from the illusion, towards being here, towards stability, to, of and as life as all as one as equal.

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