Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

February 27, 2012

By what have I defined me?

27 February 2012
By what have I defined me?
Money: I have real and perceived needs for it, more of it, and often – just to maintain what I have or think I have. When I look at my relationship with money, I see that for the most part, I stay the same regardless of how much I have or don’t have, as long as I am not at a point within survival mode. Survival mode occurs if I fear that I may not have enough money. I’ve experienced this fear and seen it in others, regardless of the quantity of money I/they have. In the past, I’ve addressed this fear by simply looking at what is here – me. How much money do I need to support me physically being here? The answer has always been, not very much, and once I’ve established that I have or can get enough money to survive, the rest is just a mind game; lower the standards and or change the definitions… And, there it is; I’ve defined myself by definitions. I see that by participating within and as definitions; I am playing the mind’s game of comparing me to others to establish a mental ranking – the mind’s definition of “my place” within the system. It all starts with definitions, and what really sucks is that once I as the mind have established that position, I must now fight to maintain it or fight to move higher. Either way, it’s always a battle within and as me as the mind, unless I stop participating in the game, unless I let go of the definitions. Why should we have to suffer? And we all do, regardless of where we have positioned ourselves within the hierarchy of the mind. Why don’t we all simply accept equality, end the suffering, and start living? I choose this path. I no longer accept rules that are biased and inflict suffering. I no longer agree to play the games of the mind. I choose the path that leads to the point where all is equal and nothing is defined.

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