Thomas La Grua's Journey to Awakening

March 12, 2011

Why don’t I trust anything in this reality?

Sometimes I write and speak sarcastically or make fun of myself. I do this because I don’t want people to think that “I” think that I’m so smart/intelligent/enlightened/wise, and; because if I come out and say what I’m thinking – completely, simply, straight forward, no funny comments, distractions/makeup, etc., I would just be presenting me. If I present me, obviously, I’m going to have to look at/see me, and that must scare the hell out of me. What could be so horrible about me that I won’t / don’t-want even me see? I’m going to find out. But how? Should I simply stand up as so that I and everyone else can see who I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become; so as to change what I’ve become/am to that of what is best for all? That’s pretty much my current plan. Yesterday, I watched some videos of being who is said to channel extraterrestrial/s. The words that he speaks/spoke resonate with me as commonsensical. The a message (as I have interpreted through about an hour of listening) is similar in many ways to “some” of what Desteni has been communicating – the definitions that we give to ourselves and our world define and limit who we are, to those definitions. Stop all definitions = end limitation and start actually living. Obviously, from my perceived perspective of Desteni’s perspective, there is much more to be taken responsibility for and changed. Why can’t I just accept something at face value? Why do I always have to search for “hidden” agendas? Why do I assume that there always is a hidden agenda? Why can’t I / why-don’t I trust anything in this reality? Perhaps, it’s because I’m not “here” – yet.


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